Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Some Things Just Take Time.....

There is always the great debate about throwing resources at a project to try to pull off the impossible timeframe.  However, some things just take time.  When I train project managers, I use an analogy of what effort driven in Microsoft Project means.  I ask them, “Are you painting a fence or driving to Nashville?”  If you are painting a fence and it takes 8 hours to paint the fence, then it will also take the full 8 hours of time.  If you add a resource, it will still take 8 hours of effort, but will only take 4 hours of elapsed time since two people are splitting the work.  If it takes you 4 hours to drive to Nashville and you add a second person, it doesn’t mean you cut the time in half.  Now two people are spending 4 hours in the car so it doubles the amount of effort.  This is a cleaner version of the way that I used to explain this.  I used to say that you can’t always throw resources at a problem.  The example I would state is that you can’t put 9 women into a room and produce a baby in a month, some things just take time.  I used that for a couple of years and every once and a while, someone would be offended.  So I changed it to a cleaner version for most of my trainings.  However, a good friend John Ragsdale sent me this and it made me laugh.  I don’t know where this originated to give it proper credit, but to whoever pulled this together….it reminded me of when I got started.  Enjoy!

Definitions of Designations:

Project Manager is a person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in one month.

Developer is a person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.

Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks a single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

Client is the one who doesn’t know why he wants a baby.

Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no woman or man is available.

Resource Optimization Team thinks they don’t need a man or woman; they’ll produce a child with zero resources.

Documentation Team thinks they don’t care whether the child is delivered; they’ll just document it in 9 months.

Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby.

Tester is a person who always tells his wife that this is not the right baby.

HR Manager is a person who thinks that a donkey can deliver a human baby in 9 months.